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For too lengthy, African-American ladies and their sexual wants have been ignored. Over the a long time, media-glorified studies have claimed to break new floor in regard to sexuality, however they seldom addressed the needs and concerns of African-American ladies. In fact, studies that addressed Black girls normally focused on transmission of illness.

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Ebony journal readers wanted to know more. What turns us on, what turns us off? Where can we go when we have now problems or questions? What are our major issues and considerations?

In response to the hundreds of reader queries the journal continued to get, Ebony undertook a significant examine to answer a few of these questions. The survey outcomes had been published in October 2004. The journal needed to listen to about the problems that have an effect on the standard of black girls's lives and relationships. Ebony has commissioned Hope Ashby, Ph.D., a psychotherapist based in New York Metropolis, to assist design a groundbreaking new sex survey that delved into the hearts and sex lives of Black women. And there are options that can lead to a healthier, extra fulfilling sex life. In the end, they hoped to shed some mild on personal considerations and let black girls know that they don't seem to be alone; different women have the same issues that you just do.

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Here, Dr. Ashby, presents some perception into Black women and sexuality.

Question: What are the sexuality issues affecting Black girls?

Dr. Ashby: A major sexuality drawback dealing with Black women today is HIV/AIDS. There is a number of misinformation or just nonexistent information about anorgasmia, low libido, painful sex and even simple issues such as the impact of hormones on sexual functioning. One other is the lack of knowledge available in our communities.

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Query: Are there sexuality points that affect Black ladies more so than other girls?

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Dr. Ashby: A continuous complaint about their companions not eager to wear condoms. Black women additionally carry up the inability to have an orgasm and low or misplaced libido as White women do.

Question: Are there aspects of sexuality that Black women seem to take pleasure in a bonus?

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Dr. Ashby: I think that the one benefit that Black women have is high body esteem. We tend to be extra comfy in our bodies, particularly Black girls who are plus-dimension. Having a high body esteem helps to boost one's sexual feelings about herself.

Query: When a Black girl has a problem with intercourse, where does she go for assist and recommendation?

Dr. Ashby: Black girls are likely to go to their buddies; it is uncommon that they go to their doctors with intercourse issues as a result of they're unaware that there's assist out there for a lot of these issues. Some medical docs are starting to hearken to their patients' sexuality complaints and learn about the world of sexual medication. There are professionals, like myself, who specialise in sexually associated issues and might help.

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Question: For many who aren't comfy talking to their partners, what advice do you've?

Dr. Ashby: At the start, do not choose to start having these conversations when you're about to have sex. Are there fantasies he wish to explore? It will be significant to begin these conversations in a impartial, non-threatening place, especially if you have not been having orgasms and you have been faking. Start by asking your accomplice what he thinks about your sex life. That's the wrong time.

Query: How do history and tradition affect our sexuality?

Dr. Ashby: All through White historical past, Black ladies have been portrayed in two paradigms--that of Jezebel and that of "mammy." Jezebel being the slut, promiscuous girl and "mammy" being fully asexual but all the time passive and caretaking. This traumatic history continues to be an unconscious remnant in the lives of Black girls. One other facet of Black history that is tied to those paradigms is that as slaves Black girls have been frequently raped and sodomized by their masters, and likewise bought off from their families. This message can be pervasive in American culture. Little ladies are taught that sex is to be saved for marriage with out ever listening to any mention of enjoyment. As a result of Black women have typically been checked out by way of these two lenses, it has been troublesome for us to seek out middle ground. It will get conveyed in a delicate way that pleasure is reserved for your companion and that you're the conveyer of that pleasure. How can you be a snug sexual being if you might be perceived as a slut? Thus Black women are sometimes caught between being a "good lady" (nonsexual), or a "unhealthy girl" (sexual).

Query: Why do some Black ladies feel unhealthy or "dirty" about initiating sex with their mate?

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Dr. Ashby: It is an issue of feeling they don't seem to be entitled to pleasure and never recognizing themselves as sexual beings with needs of their very own. This also goes again to how gifts are socialized in American society. Boys, then again, are socialized to assume that they'll have sex with anyone at any time and that it's their proper to do so. Some ladies are socialized to suppose that sex is soiled and that solely dangerous things can come of it if you happen to interact in sex.

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Query: Primarily based on your analysis, how do Black ladies feel about oral sex and anal sex?

Dr. Ashby: Black girls are extra comfortable right now than they were a number of years ago in giving and receiving oral intercourse. Anal sex continues to be comparatively taboo for Black women. I normally hear about male companions having problems giving oral intercourse.

Query: What can mothers do to make sure their daughters are knowledgeable about sex?

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Dr. Ashby: It is crucial that mothers sit down with their daughters and talk about sex and sexuality. Adolescence is a time for experimentation; adolescents query their sex appeal, whether or not they are gay, straight, or bisexual, whether oral intercourse is "intercourse," and learn how to go about it. Though the information is offered, youngsters still want and search guidance from the ones they belief most--their parents. Being open and honest along with your teen is vital to impacting their behavior.

Query: Are Black ladies at present extra snug in accepting their lesbianism?

Dr. Ashby: From many conversations with my patients, it seems that Black girls are rather more snug than they were just a few years ago about accepting their lesbianism, but it surely continues to be a wrestle. My patients state that the African-American community still has issue accepting and coping with the gay and lesbian subpopulation. This comes with a host of challenges that White lesbians do not have to face. Black lesbians are confronted with a triple handicap--being Black, feminine and a lesbian.

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Question: Many women are involved about whether or not sexual want decreases during menopause. Does it?

Dr. Ashby: The wonderful factor about being human is that we are all different and some are fortunate to not have a lower in sexual activities. I have seen some girls who're barely affected by the adjustments brought on by menopause and others whose lives are fully devastated by the hormonal imbalance.

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Query: Why is HIV affecting Black women disproportionately?

Dr. Ashby: As a result of many are engaging in sexual exercise with out condoms. In case your man will not wear a condom, there are ways you'll be able to protect yourself. Thirdly, abstinence is always an option until you discover that somebody who will respect you and your physique. First, there is a female condom out there; secondly, there are nonoxynol-9 spermicides that can be inserted into the vagina prior to intercourse. Many women I see as patients say that their man won't wear a condom as a result of it "feels" higher; or if she insists that he wears one, he accuses her of dishonest. The ultimate form of caring and respect is when somebody places your feelings and needs above their own.

Question: How do Black girls strategy masturbation and intercourse toys? Are there feelings of guilt?

Dr. Ashby: Masturbation remains to be somewhat taboo for Black women as it is seen as "dirty." My patients have mentioned they're embarrassed to search out sex toys and really feel that buying them would make them seem "unfastened." Intercourse therapists have had their patients use intercourse toys either with a partner or alone as a approach to determine what turns them on and what turns them off.

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Question: If there is one message about sexuality that you want to deliver to African-American girls across the nation, what would that be?

Dr. Ashby: I think the message I want to ship to both African-American and African Sisters is that you're a lot greater than illness carriers and baby-makers. You are sexual beings with needs and desires, and you might be entitled to wholesome, fulfilling sexual lives, and that there's assist to your sexual issues. Everyone seems to be entitled to a fulfilling intercourse life.

We do it but we do not like to discuss it. Intercourse, that's.

African-American women may be stereotyped as Lil' Kims in music videos, but for the most part, black ladies can be extraordinarily prudish with regards to discussing intercourse.

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That's why the outcomes of a landmark sex survey of black women appearing in the October 2004 difficulty of Ebony magazine certain raised a couple of eyebrows.

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For starters, according to the survey of 8,000 women nationwide and abroad, brothers apparently aren't caring for their enterprise. When requested "How glad are you along with your intercourse life?" 26.Eight % of respondents mentioned they had been "somewhat glad," 13.6 p.c mentioned they had been "somewhat dissatisfied," and only 15.7 % of the women said they were completely glad.

Much more telling, whereas "cheating" is usually seen as a primarily male conduct, the Ebony sex survey found that 44.2 percent of the ladies said that they had cheated on their partners, whereas 41.Four p.c stated that they had not strayed.

The 56-query survey asked concerning the type of intercourse that almost all black girls won't even discuss with their best friends, like what's your most well-liked position for sex and technique of penetration. That black ladies are inclined to draw back from brazenly discussing their sexuality is understandable.

Black women were objectified and sexually abused during slavery and the Jim Crow era. In real life, black teenage women are being sexually assaulted by older males, together with male kinfolk, at an alarming fee. Immediately, younger black women are demeaned as sexual objects in rap lyrics and videos.

Ebony's survey discovered that 41.9 percent of black women agreed with the assertion: "The stereotypical media portrayal of black ladies (as unfastened, unrestrained, bossy) has had a detrimental impression on our sexual growth." And about 37 percent of respondents mentioned that they had a history of sexual abuse.

But the "prepared-at-the-drop-of-a-hat" black girl is basically a delusion.

Based on the Ebony survey, though 59.7 percent of black women said "masturbation is wholesome and regular," 25.3 percent of these ladies mentioned they never masturbate. When requested: "How typically do you experience orgasm?" 22 p.c stated "fairly often," 25.2 % said "often," 26.4 p.c said "sometimes," and 18.Four % said "once in a while."

"This was a problem that we would have liked to deal with," said Lynn Norment, Ebony's managing editor. "I have carried out dozens of relationship tales over the years and that i noticed the need. There's been sex surveys about ladies usually, however black ladies have been almost a footnote in these surveys. I believed it was time for us to deal with black women and the issues that we face in our lives."

The survey was performed on-line. Clearly, a web-based survey gave respondents a variety of privateness. However some respondents mailed their responses to Ebony. Still, there are indications that respondents were uncomfortable answering some questions.

For example, consider the topic of oral sex.

Only 2.7 % of ladies surveyed admitted giving oral intercourse, while 11.6 percent stated they had been recipients of oral sex, and a whopping 82.1 p.c claimed each events engaged in oral intercourse. However when requested: "How typically do you experience oral intercourse?", 16.9 % said fairly often; 29 p.c stated "typically;" 21.9 percent stated seldom; and 24.4 percent of the respondents stated "generally."

I can't show this, however 2.7 % appears an terrible small quantity for givers. What that tiny number says to me is oral intercourse continues to be so taboo in the black community, most black girls nonetheless won't admit to giving oral sex without getting it too.

Many of the respondents live within the South (37.9 p.c), are school graduates (52.7 p.c) and have by no means been married (50.2 %).

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"I'm a minister's daughter," said Hope Ashby, the new York City- primarily based intercourse therapist who helped Ebony formulate the intercourse survey. "My mom is a Southern belle, and we did not focus on these items. That is why this is quite wonderful. Black women deal with the identical points as white ladies. We aren't having as a lot sex as we might want, and when we are having intercourse, we're not being sexually glad," she mentioned.

Given the "down low" phenomenon -- that is, black men who have sex with ladies however don't determine themselves as gay or disclose to their female partners that they also have intercourse with males -- I used to be shocked Ebony didn't ask outright about condom use.

Forty-eight percent of respondents said they were very involved about "brothers on the down low," 16.5 p.c mentioned they had been "somewhat concerned," and 27.Three p.c stated they weren't concerned.

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"What we did not wish to do was alienate folks from answering the questions," Ashby mentioned. "Being in your face about it makes people go the other method and never need to discuss it."

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Hopefully, Ebony's sex survey will bounce-start the true dialog.

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1. How satisfied are you with your intercourse life?

Utterly glad 15.77%

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Mostly satisfied 25.Forty two

Considerably satisfied 26.85

Considerably dissatisfied 13.Sixty two

Largely dissatisfied 9.09

Fully dissatisfied 9.25

2. How typically do you engage in sexual intercourse?

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Day by day 6.36

Once per week or extra 41.64

As soon as a month 11.Sixty nine

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Two or 3 times a month 23.31

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Once or twice a yr 9.05

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Not in any respect 7.95

3. How often would you prefer to have sex?

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Day by day 32.01

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As soon as every week or extra 58.04

As soon as a month 1.79

Two or three times a month 6.22

As soon as or twice a year 0.Forty four

Lower than once a yr 0.18

Not in any respect 1.32

4. How often do you expertise orgasm?

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Very often 22.07

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Usually 25.23

Sometimes 26.Forty three

Every so often 18.Forty one

By no means 7.86

5. Have you ever ever cheated on your partner?

Yes 44.23

No 41.47

Thought of it, but didn't 14.29

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The survey included 8,000 black women, most of whom answered questions on-line. Some mailed responses to Ebony. The survey was performed between March eight and April 30, 2004.

APA Reference
Staff, H. (2021, December 17). Are You Glad? Ebony Asks Black Girls, HealthyPlace. Retrieved on 2024, March 27 from https://www.healthyplace.com/intercourse/women/are-you-glad-ebony-asks-black-girls

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